From poetry collection “Psychoanalytic Celebrity Poems” you can download here

Dwight Howard

Some hater, tweeted at me
that I look like a robot
with a peanut head.

I tweeted back he got peanuts
compared to my cash flow.

Then I blocked that hater like…

I haven’t had many blocks
the past year
but that ain’t
my fault.

is a ‘heightest’.

He don’t know how
to use a big man.

Doesn’t play defense.

Unless Phil was coming back
I was bouncing to either
Houston or Brooklyn.

I didn’t like them
Hollywood Lights.

It gets too hot in LA
and playing with Kobe
was like the gonorrhea
test we have to take
for our physical.

It just wasn’t fun.

I am happy to be in Houston.

I even called my agent to celebrate.

He told me his favorite
Huffington Post writer
Anis Shivani lives there.

I don’t read much except
The Bible, so I asked
him what he writes.

He said Shivani was a critic
and his shtick was that he’s
very mean and honest.

Damn, I said, I hope he
doesn’t watch basketball.

I got enough haters.

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