Being a former porn store manager entitled me to free membership of the NYC Super PAC known as S.A.D. “Sexual American Deviants”

We are a group of porn industry workers, pick up artists, Craigslist Casual Encounters Enthusiasts, amateur cock pick senders, prostitutes, pimps, and really aggressive One Direction fans over 18 of course.

This election for NYC Mayor has had us torn as both men represent ideals of what we believe in and have character that is very relatable to our own. Though the debate was behind closed doors I am a fan of Wiki Leaks and will share a transcript and recall actions from the Q&A debate S.A.D. Super PAC held. I have typed it out.

Opening Statements

Eliot Spitzer:

Hello everyone, good evening. Thank you for coming; I even recognize some old faces. Ashley you still are as beautiful as ever. Members of S.A.D. We are heroes, some of us fallen heroes but we should have no shame in what we have done. My name is Eliot Spitzer and I enjoyed high-class prostitutes and like their sexual skills I will bring great skills to mayor office and I will show we don’t need…different names to be who we are, members S.A.D. support a man who can use his real name while still being with very attractive prostitutes. No Shame In Spitzer.

Anthony “Carlos Danger” Weiner:

Good evening, while my opponent was privileged enough to use tax payers money to pay for escorts. I am a man of the people. Who of us have not had to use allies when sending cock or pussy picks. I’m a multi-tasker, I don’t have time for escorts. I’m sending cock pics while getting the cock pic receiver to give denotations and support the democratic party. While Mr. Spitzer is in a high-rise hotels with high dollar whores I am in the chatrooms being with ‘the people’. S.A.D. I have a work ethic and good-sized penis and many of you know from watching porn that a man with a good-sized penis who is in great shape–they can get the job done.

The moderator Miss Tranny 2013 tucked retucked her 9 inch penis in her pink cocktail dress and said, “Thank you gentlemen. Our first question is what will you do to make New York City at home for Sexual Deviants again, like it was 70’s? Mr. Spitzer you’re first.

Eliot Spitzer:

Excellent question Miss Trany 2013 and congrats on winning the competition, it was filled with beautiful man-misses.

I have a 3 part plan: One we work with the Sex Museum to have a free classic porn night, we need to remember that sex is an art. Two, I will be proposing a medical prescriptions for prostitution which will follow the suggestions member Christoph Paul wrote and will soon be featured on And 3 Sex Stamps–like food stamps they will be a weekly sum for lower-income sexual deviants who will then be able to spend them at your local strip club and/or porn shop. I am for fairness and justice and think all New Yorkers should get a taste of that sweet potato pie.

There where great claps as Miss Tranny 2013 handed over the microphone to Anthony Weiner.

Anthony “Carlos Danger” Weiner:

Like usual Mr. Spitzer is still living in a higher tower making promises that will never hit the dirty, pissed-filled beautiful streets of NYC. I am not going to give you any promises, all I can say is I am one of you. No better no worst and if when you have me in the Mayor’s office you know Anthony aka Carlos Danger Weiner will be fighting for all members of S.A.D. I fight the little battles that end winning the war. I also have a good-sized penis if I haven’t mentioned that already.

Miss Tranny 2013 nods her thoughtful and says, “We’d like to ask more questions but many of us have porn to watch or strip clubs and or clients to visit so closing statements gentlemen. You first Mr. Spitzer.

Eliot Spitzer:

Thank you Jane, and once again congrats, just looking at you shows all that hard work, exercise, and surgery was worth it. You are beautiful. Now my dear New Yorkers, Mr. Weiner is a pessimist who hides in chat rooms. But me, I am actually the one in the real world. I have been a governor and those conservative bankers and bastards set me up and it will be my revenge by making New York City the Bangkok it once was in the 70s. By God, we will have hookers on Times Square again by hook or crook. I know that is promising a lot but stick with Spitzer the Panty Sniffer.

The crowd cheered and some even masturbated in celebration at such a moving statement and slogan but Miss Tranny 2013 silenced the crowd and left the microphone to Wiener.

Anthony “Carlos Danger” Weiner:

That’s a clever slogan Mr. Spitzer came up with, he has a normal name though. All through my life I was made fun cause of my last name. The boys at school would pick on me because of my last name until finally I claimed my last name and showed my weiner to the swim team and they shut their mouths. I am one of you, Mr. Spitzer just has a wife sucks in bed. My wife is great in bed, and I still want to get my rocks off. I learned from showing my cock off that there is power in the act. Being a sexual deviant is a form of resentment becoming sexualized. Did I use the name Carlos Danger in chatroom while showing my great cock? I did, not because I was ashamed because we live in a world where we shame the cock showers. Well fellow S.A.D.’s I can’t change the world but I can make NYC S.A.D. friendly, with Carlos Danger on the job, Sexual Deviants of all shapes and sizes will be safe.

The crowd erupted and it was clear we had our man. For I can say for all of S.A.D. we are in 100% support of Weiner and weiners in general, especially, going into vagina and other holes…

We have a slogan for our man.

Carlos Danger The Chatroom Banger For NYC Mayor!

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