I have witch Vondressa Willstone; she claims to be the witch who has caused the polar vortex. She let me have an interview to her reasons on why she caused the Polar Vortex.
1) Why Vondressa, why cause this and did you really? Isn’t this science and stuff, not witchcraft that controls the weather?
You lower level men and your science. You do not know the truth, witch craft controls the weather; there is global warming but that is being caused by my frenemy Elvitra. Her goal is to make sure all polar bears die a miserable death because all polar bears are really the souls of Byzantine Empire who burned her at a stake in 425 AD?
2) Woah. You just blew my mind, so witches control the weather not nature.
Yes you cretin, we are of nature, we do her biding and use her power. Don’t let the Christians or nerds with glasses tell you otherwise. I am the great Vondressa Willstone, I am one of the most powerful witches; I do not need to explain my knowledge to some little Israelite.
3) Um, I am actually from West Palm Beach, but it’s pretty Jewey there. But fair enough. So before I ask why you did this, I must know, are you an X-Men fan, as Storm does have similar powers to you.
Stan Lee is a troll who mocks witches, his X-Men is a creation and fantasy of powerless humans; I have real and spells I learned and created. I am not a mutant.
4) Ok, I am still an X-Men fan, so why this Polar Vortex?
Because of the cancelling of my favorite show of all time. “Whitney”. It was delightful show and I enjoyed her comedy, it is just very much a shame and now I feel rage and loneliness and want to punish the world and make them feel the cold I feel without having “Whitney” to look forward to watch on Thursdays. My black and I loved the show and we are both full of great rage at its cancellation.
5) Damn. I thought it would be “Sabrina The Teenage Witch”. But “Whitney”? Really? Ok, well here is the last question, what about the fans of Whitney who are suffering from This Polar Vortex as well, is that really fair?
There is no fairness in this world, only pain and coldness. Unless “Whitney” is renewed like “Family Guy” was, this Polar Vortex will continue…as the spell has been cast.