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I finished Carr’s book and it was really awesome; though we both hate Social Media it became a way for me to tell him his book was cool and set up this interview.

I am stoked to have author of “Motherfucking Sharks” Brain Allen Carr for this artist/author interview series.

1) This interview is going talk a lot about motherfucking sharks. Your motherfucking sharks, my motherfucking sharks. Why do we love us some motherfucking sharks so much?

Do we? I hate sharks. They scare the shit out of me. They have dead-looking eyes and retractable penises. Terrifying.

2) You mentioned also a love gangsta rap including MC Eiht. What would be your rap name be and why?

Yeah, I lived in Plano, Texas during middle school, and listening to gangsta rap was the easiest way to be subversive. I love many types of music, but I’ve noticed that I’m a great fan of song lyrics that are narrative without being overt: that is to say, songs that tell stories with no clear thesis.

As far as my rap name? I’d probably just go with my own name. Brian Allen Carr.

3) Do you think it would be poetic if a Christian Fundamentalist group kidnapped you and fed you to a shark, but you were swallowed and end up being like a real modern-day Jonah?

Anytime anything eats it’s poetic. Do you realize all the magic involved in that process? Any time anything stays alive, it is similarly poetic. But, to stay alive when you should’ve died is one of the most poetic things reality affords us.

You know, that and air conditioning in the summer time.

I don’t read the Bible very literally. True Christians can’t. In the opening chapter of Matthew, Jesus’ lineage is recounted. The point of the lineage being divulged, is to link Jesus to great men who came before—Abraham, King David.

The lineage comes down through the generations, finally arriving at Joseph, Jesus’ father.

Except, one thing, Jesus is not related to Joseph. Jesus’ mother, Mary, was impregnated by an angel. In Biblical times, the woman’s role in the creation of a fetus was limited, they were seen as vessels for semen to mature in, and “spilling seed,” or jerking off, was consider a grave sin because of this.

The Bible is, presumably, written by God. So, presumably, God didn’t know how he was cooking babies when he wrote that book.

The book is a metaphor, but maybe so is life. And, maybe, so is eating. And, maybe, so are sharks.

4) I feel kinship with you, as we are shark writers; do you think we should start a union or Facebook group? Also you did some really cool experimental writing in the third act in “Motherfucking Sharks”, what inspired the experimental prose in that section of the book and what did your editor think?

I hate Facebook. I hate social media. I think social media is destroying art. It’s making everybody pretend to like everything.

If you like everything, you don’t like anything. If you fuck every woman you meet, then you can’t really be married. If you buy every child in the world a birthday present, how can you make your daughter feel special on her birthday?

My God, all these people being friendly to try to sell three hundred books. Dear sweet blue fuck.

Third act? What part is that?

I never experiment. I just write, and I guess Cameron liked it enough. I mean, he published it.

In terms of inspiration for all the parts of the book: life, books, movies, music, food, life, things, stuff.

5) If were bitten by a shark and lost a body part, which would you choose: arms, feet, or butt cheeks?

Both cheeks? Both arms? Both feet?

I don’t know. I have an irrational fear of sharks. I’ve grown up on the coast, afraid of the water, because I’m afraid of being bitten. I guess, if I am bitten. I don’t know. This is a tough question.

6) I am very impressed with a lot of books Lazy Fascist Press publishes? There is a nice range from sharks to boxers. How did you find and get hooked up with the press?

I read at AWP 2013 with Cameron Pierce (the Lazy Fascist leader), and we kind of hit it off, I guess. We’re both big fans of Jim Thompson and, I think, we’re both curious about the space where “literature” (whatever that means) and more commercial fiction can meet.

I love being on the press. I’ve got great label mates who I’m proud to be associated with, and Cameron is a remarkable editor and friend.

7) You live on The Texas/Mexican border, are Taco Bells extra delicious in your area?

No. All Taco Bells are the same. Or, at least, that’s their mission. Chain restaurants are supposed to be the same wherever you go. That’s why they are simultaneously amazing and infuriating.

What if trees were the same everywhere you went? What if all towns were the same? All people?

What would be the point?

8) What are you thoughts of The Illuminati and would you become a member if given the chance?

I don’t really know what the Illuminati is. My dad is really into conspiracy theories, so I try to distance myself from all that. Paranoia runs in my family, and I’d rather not invite it upon myself.

I like to whistle and be happy and shit. You know what I mean?

9) Follow up question are you a lizard person who is at war with the sharks?

Nah, I’m a Texan.

10) Last question, what are you working on now?

I just finished a book called The Last History Novel in the History of the World which is coming out on Lazy Fascist in May.

I’m working on short stories and my first true-length novel that should be done by summer. I hope.

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Definitely check out Carr’s latest book and others; you can reach him at these evil entities with links below.

Website
Twitter
Amazon

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