I have more ‘Likes’
than Michael Cera;

I am the most
alpha beta that
isn’t on greek row.

My nerd brothers
now hate on me.

Jealous cause they
know they could
never be Lex Luther.

My acting is so good,
I have a Lexus
and fuck more
Lutheran girls

than the
Catholic Church
in 1562.

I drop knowledge,
and depth; Zuckerberg,
and zombies know

I am to be respected.

Michael Cera’s agent
tried to friend me,
but I blocked him,

The Eisenberg is exclusive

only accepting kryptonite,
and girls who used to
reject his friend request.


Christoph Paul is a prose writer and has two collections of poetry “Psychoanalytic Celebrity Poems” and “Love Spandrel”

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