Today is my birthday; it is a weird practice to remember the day you were born and maybe even the idea of a calendar in general, not sure about all this stuff.

A lot eastern mystics think anything out of the present moment is bad for spiritual health and a lot of those dudes ended up on Oprah.

Speaking of Oprah she likes books and speaking of birthdays, you are supposed to give the person a present, so I will shamelessly use this practice of pagan birth celebration to say you should buy one of my books.

I have 5 books, so to continue with our preoccupation with numbers and amount, the odds are you are bound that you like one.

To celebrate my birthday I have been staying with girlfriend who lives in a hippy-town in Oregon for the past week and have been feeling all introspective.

I want to change my bio (less porn, more author stuff) and I want to just continue in this dream and passion of writing and editing books I feel are adding something interesting to the literary world.

I see in my writing that I want to go two routes, one is back to my childhood sense of play which was writing horror (the first thing I wrote to completion was at 6 years old, a story for “Tales From the Crypt”) and I want to write stories of young people in love.

I have edited a book about young love, if I get lucky, I might even get to publish it through The Only Rx Press (though I’ll admit, it deserves a bigger and more established press but we will see if bigger presses are smart enough to pick up this book) as it just hit a nerve in a good way.

I like love, I am in love, I want to write about this thing we go all crazy about.

Then I started to think ‘man, it is kind of weird you want to write really screwed up horror books (I’m working on “Tits from Hell” and could end up writing a book with the working title “Sister Margret’s Demonic Dildo”) and then stuff like “Sixteen Candles” and “High Fidelity” as I have a YA novel one draft away from being done with working title ‘A Bouquet of Clumsy Words’. It is honestly my most accessible and probably best book I have done so far, though “Tits” has me pretty excited.

It is a weird range, but I know myself, and do see from doing this past interview, I just want to write about what we as human beings fear—whether it be evil or love.

Under all the bullshit, and silly titles, I am a writer of depth who likes to sneak in literary themes.

Love and Horror, both bring up fears, both cause us to be vulnerable, they are both kind of goofy and yet they are part of life—we face the bliss of love and the horror of tragedy everyday in one form or another.

I do feel done with Satire, though I’ll probably write “Great White House 2: Biliary Bites Back” one day when the muse and or market bugs me enough to do it. I do like politics and religion; I will one day do a collection of essays about politics before the next election.

As I see many grey hairs, I do notice today that I feel more mature; I do see myself settling into a life of love and family and some goodness, which is different from my childhood, teens, and twenties.

I am feeling optimistic; I have built up my work ethic, I have put in my 10,000 hours (though we can stop acting like Gladwell is a prophet), and I have a good idea of who I am as a man, but I am also ready for new experiences and those will probably shape what I write as I am already looking at doing my first children’s books with my girlfriend’s son.

I guess in this very self-centered diatribe of a blog, I ready to focus less on porn stores and more find the poetic things in life whether they are dark or light.

I am open to what the muse brings me as I am ready for new things and feel more confident and comfortable with whatever comes my way.

PS

It’s my birthday, you should buy a damn book.

Christoph

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