It’s happened. The gays are getting married and its only a matter of time until their agenda reaches us innocent Americans. We all know that God made marriage to keep us from sin. Now that America made this institution gay, we are all sitting ducks to become part of the homosexual lifestyle now.

While prayer is a good defense, the real solution is we must stop activities that will lead to succumbing to the gay lifestyle that will now lead to gay marriage. We have to be on guard and even vigilant to not fall into this sin that is now legalized by the Supreme Court. Like Christ’s time in the desert we will have to make sacrifices and give up hobbies like our Lord gave up food and water.

This is a blessed list and I hope all God-fearing American share it. Here is how to keep yourself from ending up getting gay married.

1) Gardening (men only)

Once men start gardening they enjoy putting their hands in the dirt it is only a matter of time before they’ll enjoy doing thee same with rectums. It’s been proven that watching tomatoes grow make men want to fondle others’ testicles. It truly is Adam and Steve with gardening. Women you can keep gardening as watching life grow should remind you of God’s purpose for you.

2) Eating Excellent Seafood

This is more for women as they might find Mango Snapper so delicious that they would try oral sex and then marry their best friend. Women should eat more steak and not fish to stay straight. Men stay away from shrimp cocktail. You know why.

3) Football

Thanks to the gays we can no longer watch or play football. I know I love football more than the next guy but now it is a huge gateway to gayness. It is only a matter of time before some buff defensive end sacks Tom Brady and gets a big erection and wants to Gay Marry him.

4) Bed Bath & Beyond (men only)

Science will soon prove that scented candles bring up homosexual inclinations. Men stay away from the store, and women keep shopping their but don’t take your male children.

5) All Marvel Movies and X-Men

The tights and multicultural secular humanism in these movies is really just one big gay pride parade. Iron Man and Hulk are clearly gay for each other and X-Men use very gay metaphors. The Wolverine Movies are ok because they are very masculine and unentertaining.

6) Men Owning Cats

Though heathens use the derogatory ‘p-word’ for female genitalia, there is nothing more gay than a man owning a cat. He will take on its feminine and passive behaviors and wind up owning a lint roller and then go to a gay bar and find a husband.

7) Women Having Jobs

Do you know that women doing social activities in the work place raises her testosterone levels. Yeah, I know, it makes total sense. That is why they need to be in the house, doing dishes, and drinking soy to keep their estrogen levels high.

8) Stick Shift (for men only)

What was once a manly heterosexual way to drive a car is now just a slippery pole for doing gay stuff with your hand. While a Prius is also very homosexual it now preferred to the Prius.

9) Taylor Swift

Both sexes need to stop listening and watching Miss Swift. She is so amazing that men will want to be her and women will want to have sex with her.

10) Facebook

It promotes all individuals to become rainbowized. This could be ok for Irish-Americans because we all know Leprechauns kill snakes and are masculine men that provide for their families with their gold. It is recommended to quit Facebook and join Google Plus because no one gets sex at this Social Media site.

2 thoughts on “10 Ways To Protect Yourself From Gay Marriage

  1. If this is a joke, it’s hilarious. If you meant it, your a complete idiot who obviously wasn’t loved as a child. I’m gonna pretend it’s a joke so I can laugh at the fact there probably is someone who thinks that Iron man and the Hulk love each other and leprechauns are real. Oh, I love being gay.

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