I’m eating some tender Squid Ravioli
and drinking some 7.5 PH Mineral Water,
while listening to some exquisite Sade.
All my senses dance with a joy,
like I imagine Aboriginal people
feel celebrating their daily life,
because they do not lose the wonder
we forget is in this modern world.

I become one with this knowledge.
I think of Christ’s Last Super
and what a beautiful moment
those jewish men were experiencing.

The chorus begins to play
for “Cherish The Day”,
but my soul goes
to Sade’s greatest song
“No Ordinary Love”.
It could be thought of
as a romantic Love song,
but I hear it as an ode
to our relationship
with all of humanity.

My date doesn’t understand
any of these things.
She’s not terribly important
to anyone in this world.
For a cocaine user
she is very silent,
which is quite the plus.

I take her home and smash an 81′
Chardonnay across her head.
Her screams and begs are the most
interesting things she has said tonight.

I use my cork screw to open
the Chardonnay half way.
I then slam the cork screw
in her thigh, spread them,
and use her large vagina lips
to pull off the cork.

She screams as loud as the pop.
It flows down her breasts while
I drink the chardonnay and
taste the Spanish apricots.

I pick up the bloody cork
with ripped parts of her
stuck to it and force it
into her right ear.

I bite off the other ear
and scream in the red
and yellow hole, “No one
loves you. No one!
Stop screaming!
It’s off-key.”

She is struggling
for breaths.
Her panting soothes me
and makes me up beat
like Phil Colin’s
“Another Day in Paradise.”

She begs me to stop,
but I sing “You’ll Be in My Heart”
and take the cork screw out
and stab her in the heart.
It gets stopped by the bone,
but I feel the vibration
of the heartbeat and I must say,
I really enjoy that Marky Mark song.


Christoph Paul is the author of 6 book of humor, horror, poetry, and satire.

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