2016 canidates

First, Trump and Carson are showing they don’t belong up there. They look like they should be in the sequel of the film The Bucket List instead on a presidential debate stage. They are both┬ájokes that are getting old like the Pizza Rat or Cher.

Speaking of washed up acts, Florina is the worst; she is every corporate boss I’ve had from RadioShack to the Dept of Labor. She belongs on Shark Tank not on a presidential debate. If she was a man she’d be the Lincoln Chafee of the Republican Party.

Jeb Bush comes across like a middle school principal who plays in a Hootie & The Blowfish tribute band. You can see him going through the 5 stages of grief that his idiot brother got to be president but not him.

Mike Huckabee looks like he would be the bass player in Jeb’s Hootie Tribute band and won’t be president either.

Ted Cruz admitted that he couldn’t get laid in college and people rather get gonorrhea tests than have a beer with him. I applaud his honesty and self-evaluation. He hit all the right notes with conservatives but at the end of the day no one wants to vote for a man who looks like a pedophile vampire.

Kasich actually sounded like someone who could run a country with competence. He came across annoyed like a frustrated scientist (that stage would make many people look really fucking smart) in a disaster film warning people about the disaster he knows is coming. No one ever listens to that scientist and he is turning into sequel of Jon Huntsman. He still could be VP because of Ohio.

Christie didn’t suck for a second debate in a row. He showed why people liked him 6 years ago and he could either end up being VP or open up a pizzeria with Herman Cain, which would be pretty fucking awesome.

Last, I claim Rubio the winner and most likely the future nominee. He had a teen movie John Hughes moment with Jeb Bush saying basically: you won’t boss me around any more dad, I have dreams. He showed high likability, Obama moments, an understanding of economics, and ┬ápositivity while still reminding people abortionists and the liberal media are destroying America. If he can hold tight to Jesus, protecting the unborn, and not say anything really stupid he will be the nominee and probably pick Kasich as his running mate.

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