Author Archives: Christoph Paul

Military School Part 2: How I Didn’t Die.

Author’s Note: This is a continuation of my exploits at Military School which is featured in my book The Passion of The Christoph. Please check it out if you enjoy the non-fiction story…enjoy. I was going to die. No they … Continue reading

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Christoph’s Top 3 Craft Books On Writing & Other Pretentious Bullshit

Because I am so prolific and brilliant; I decided to share my writing secrets which is really just reading the hell out of 3 craft books and talking to this director dude at a diner for brunch on Saturdays. Character … Continue reading

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Shavona: Live with Lyrics

Verse 1 In the back of that smokey strip club I see the girl who burns my blood A sophomore named Shavona Who loves cocaine and minors in drama Chorus I’m loving her like the way she loves that eight … Continue reading

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Anis Shavini Deserves an Honorary MFA (Review of Againist The Workshop & My Tranquil War)

I am just having fun with the title. I’ll state from the beginning if you are looking for an anti-Shavini piece defending the MFA process go to the Huffington Post Message boards and speak of the joy of debt and … Continue reading

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Jaleel White’s (Urkel) Agent Pitches Him Mega Shark vs Crocosaurus

Setting: A posh coffee shop, in L.A.; Jaleel White aka Steve Urkel walks in to meet his agent Josh Weinstein. Agent: Jaleel. Look at you. Handsome as ever. How is life?” Jaleel: Mother fucking hard. The royalty checks they are … Continue reading

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Transcript of The New Jersey JuggalosB4Hoes Chat Room

ThatIsNotClownMakeUpOnYourFaceItsMyCum: Hey fags, stop sucking each other’s dicks and listen the fuck up! The greatest musical act in the galaxy is coming to Jersey. That is right cockwads! the Insane fucking Clown Posse! Ever since I saw it posted on … Continue reading

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Pitchfork Indie Rock Intern Interviews Tyga About ‘Rack City’

*Author’s Note, if you are unfamiliar with the awesome crunkness of the rap artist Tyga please watch his video Rack City. If you have already, watch it again, enjoy the booties and then enjoy this leaked interview between him and … Continue reading

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Hustle & Fly: The Story Of Pasquale The Pigeon Pimp.

Bitches ain’t shit but hoes & breadsticks. That is on the real, mother fuckers; I’ve been pigeon pimping since a nigga’s feathers turned red. Shit…while all these other herb birds are hanging in the park shitting on statues I’m flying … Continue reading

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Cowabunga: A Reworking of Mona Lisa

As someone who just wrote ‘The Infinite Jest of Picking Porn Titles’ I can support this low & high art mixing of Mona Lisa The Suicide Girl. Though I think which ever Ninja Turtle Artist did this would not support … Continue reading

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A Shark’s Tale: Led Zeppelin Episode at The Edgewater Hotel

*Author’s note. Here is the mud shark’s side of the story of the Shark Episode of Led Zeppelin. How’s it hanging dudes and duderinas; I am the most famous shark in the world, seriously bro, I’m like only second to … Continue reading

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