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Transcript of The New Jersey JuggalosB4Hoes Chat Room

ThatIsNotClownMakeUpOnYourFaceItsMyCum: Hey fags, stop sucking each other’s dicks and listen the fuck up! The greatest musical act in the galaxy is coming to Jersey. That is right cockwads! the Insane fucking Clown Posse! Ever since I saw it posted on their MySpace Page I have been waking up with a raging boner. SlimShadySucksDicksJuggalo4ForLife: New Jersey […]

Pitchfork Indie Rock Intern Interviews Tyga About ‘Rack City’

*Author’s Note, if you are unfamiliar with the awesome crunkness of the rap artist Tyga please watch his video Rack City. If you have already, watch it again, enjoy the booties and then enjoy this leaked interview between him and Pitchfork. Pitchfork: Thank you Tyga for coming, we are glad you are taking the time […]

Hustle & Fly: The Story Of Pasquale The Pigeon Pimp.

Bitches ain’t shit but hoes & breadsticks. That is on the real, mother fuckers; I’ve been pigeon pimping since a nigga’s feathers turned red. Shit…while all these other herb birds are hanging in the park shitting on statues I’m flying to the back alley behind Nino’s pizzeria on St. Marks. It’s dem breadsticks’ yo, my […]

A Shark’s Tale: Led Zeppelin Episode at The Edgewater Hotel

*Author’s note. Here is the mud shark’s side of the story of the Shark Episode of Led Zeppelin. How’s it hanging dudes and duderinas; I am the most famous shark in the world, seriously bro, I’m like only second to Jaws and that dude isn’t even real. It’s a total wash out holmes, the Great […]

A Manifesto For American Artists (This Will Be Better Received In Europe)

Pick Your Battles. We are in a capitalist country and guess what, no matter how many rallies and percentage points we talk about that is not going to change. In America, we are never going to be socialists. This country was founded by joyless Puritans and as artists we need to accept that and practice […]

Seeking Female Bass Player/Back Up Vocalist 4 The Black Keys Meets The Pixies Band

This is my real Craigslist Add. This is not a Satire Piece. I am busy writing this blog, doing music, and writing a fucking novel it’s not like I have bunch of time to meet a shitload of people. If you know people in the NYC area then please share. What up chica, I’m […]

Dear Jonathan Franzen (Free Kindle If You Read This) ‘Ebooks are not for serious readers’ Look Jonathan, I like ya, and for the most part I am on your team; you write great literary novels-a goal I want to achieve one day. ‘Freedom’ (3rd act issues aside) was really fucking good, but dude, come on, it’s easy to say shit like this when […]